Monday, August 30, 2010

Women get married for love. Men get married for sex.

Again, I heard this gem from a bishop.  I've since heard that people often hear this message at church earlier in life than I did, usually in their teens and frequently from YW/YM leaders but also from other teenagers.  But, I had never heard this until I was sitting in my bishop's office with my fiance, when we were there to ask him to marry us in a civil ceremony (we were pretty much out of the church by then but decided to have a bishop officiate to partially appease the 'rents).  I was stunned.  I couldn't believe that he was saying something like that to me at all but to be telling me, after I had just gotten engaged, that essentially, my fiance was just going to marry me so I would put out (and in front of my fiance) seemed incredibly insensitive.  He also essentially disclosed that he wouldn't have married his wife except that he really wanted to have sex with her.  I think his point wasn't that his wife wasn't worth marrying or that he didn't really love her, but just that men generally would prefer to be single.

While I was a bit miffed and shocked it didn't really bother me because I knew it wasn't true in my case since my now husband and I were already having sex. (You don't have to marry this one!)  In fact, it shouldn't have taken any power of discernment for the bishop to know that.  If he'd been paying attention at all, he would have smelled it on us. We went to that meeting right after ditching out on church to go fool around!

Haha!  I win.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Back rubs lead to front rubs

This was a bit of wisdom conveyed by a bishop in one of the special youth firesides my favorite bishop ever used to hold in his home about twice a month.  I loved those firesides.  I loved that ward.  I had a lot of really close friends there and we were ALL really tight.  Literally, there were no enemies in that ward.  I think those firesides were the reason we were all so tight.  We'd pile into the bishops living room and sit on couches or pillows and we'd all cuddle (appropriately of course).  It was warm and friendly.  Sometimes we shared testimonies.  Sometimes the bishop gave lessons, usually on virtue, purity, chastity, and worthiness.  That particular bishop was really serious about keeping the youth chaste. 

It was ironic that we were all cuddled up warm-like when he told us not to be too touchy-feely with members of the opposite sex.  I'm not sure why this "back rubs lead to front rubs" saying stuck with me.  But, it REALLY did.  Probably because it was funny, and I'm into silly stuff like that.

As it turns out, back rubs do not ALWAYS lead to front rubs (but when they do...yippee!) as the old Bish told us.  I don't think I really believed it at the time, either.  I suppose that perhaps most teenage boys are hoping that when a girl lets ya rub their back, that they'll let you feel 'em up too.  But, I wouldn't know, having never had the teenage boy experience.  Heck, maybe most teenage girls hope a guy will do the old flipperoo and give a little boob grope too.  But, I didn't.  And I gave and received plenty of back rubs as a young woman. 


Yet ANOTHER blog...

...because I spend an awful lot of time bitching about the LDS church, the mormons, and the stupid, stupid shit I was told in church on my other blogs and I think some of that bitching deserves its very own space.
...because I think it might be good for me to have a public venting space where I can connect with other ex-mormons.